


Rebuilding a Stone Circle

by TheLadyCassandra



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:51:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6528220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyCassandra/pseuds/TheLadyCassandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur and Merlin after Merlin reveals his magic in an ambush. Arthur's choices and Merlin's fierce loyalty mean that the way ahead will not be easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Broken Circle

Merlin was an idiot. It hadn't taken Arthur much trouble to work this much out, his manservant was undeniably one of the most foolish men he had ever met. Possibly even the most foolish. The knowledge of his idiocy was almost a comforting constant which meant that, right now, Arthur was feeling quite confused. He couldn't reconcile the image he had of Merlin the idiot with the man who stood before him, eyes glowing gold and arm out flung as if he meant to catch the crossbow bolt that would have buried itself in Arthur's heart. The bolt itself had stopped a hairs breadth from his chest and was hovering there. Arthur had heard no spell and, truthfully, his ears were ringing from a blow to the head but he knew this was magic. The type of magic that would end in a burning stake in the courtyard. Merlin's arm dropped and the bolt fell with it; falling with a light thud to the compacted leaves and earth. Merlin fell with it and Arthur cringed at the way his head bowed. Not fighting, not challenging as he surely could. Just accepting. 

The hilt of his sword felt clumsy and heavy in hands even though he'd wielded it for years. His armour pinched as he walked and for an almost hysterical moment he fancied his own equipment was enchanted to thwart him. He pushed back the panic and forced himself to take the few necessary steps to where merlin knelt. The man who had shot the crossbow was lying crumpled on the ground across the clearing. The side of his armour was buckled inwards as if he had been struck a mighty blow with a hammer larger than any man could swing. Merlin had done that, had dealt death as swiftly as any knight could, but still he knelt before Arthur, waiting for his judgement. The sword was heavy in his hands and he had to swallow heavily twice before he thought he would be able to speak. When he did, his voice was hoarse, as if he had not used it in too long and he cleared his throat roughly.

"If my father were here," he said "you would be dead already." 

Merlin simply bowed his head more and Arthur felt a flash of anger. After everything, didn't he deserve to be looked in the eye as he was betrayed? The anger was easer to feel than the hurt so he let it fill him. The other man's throat worked convulsively when the tip of Arthur's still too heavy sword tipped his face upwards.  
"Sire." It was a stark reminder of his rank, of his duty, his father, the words he had sworn as a knight to forsake magic and suffer no magic users. But the way Merlin said it made him think of other things too. Of rescuing a Druid boy, of seeing massacre after massacre, burning after burning. Areidien ready to kill Gaius, drugging Camelot's women. The vision of his mother. 

"How long?" He asked without really knowing what he was asking. How long have you had magic? How long have you been lying to me? How long would you have kept it from me? 

"I was born this way," Merlin said softly "magic is as natural to me as breathing. And I have never used it against you, or Camelot. Only ever as protection. Magic is not a force of evil, Arthur, it's just used that way sometimes."

"I have sworn to protect Camelot," Arthur said. He could barely get the words out. "Sworn to hunt down magic users and see that they receive judgement. See that they burn. I have sworn an oath, Merlin, given my word as an honourable man." The sword was too heavy to hold and it slipped from his hands to thud down as the bolt did, landing in the leaves and dirt. "It seems today we are both liars." He forced the words out through the lump in his throat. He was the crown prince of Camelot, he wouldn't weep because a servant had lied to him. Even if the lie stabbed him more keenly than any blade. "Get up," he said firmly "we're going back, this wasn't a random attack. They knew we were coming"

"Arthur," Merlin said quietly "I can leave, if you want, go now. You would never have to see me again. I promise I would never return to-"

"Stop." Arthur's voice was too harsh, he knew, but the idea of never seeing Merlin again made him feel sick to his stomach. "What happened today never leaves this clearing. We bested them with steel and returned to Camelot. Nothing else happened here." He turned to go but Merlin's voice stopped him.

"No." One tiny word, but enough to bring the rush of anger back to the front of Arthur's mind.

"What?" He questioned, voice kept quiet to keep the rage bottled up in his chest.

"You know and I won't ignore it, Arthur. It's been secret too long, ignoring it won't make it go away. I have magic. I've been using it to save you and I won't stop now. I won't stop keeping you from harm, in an way I can. It might be fixing your shirt to keep you from chills, it might be killing a griffin. With or without magic, I will keep protecting you Arthur." Merlin's voice had raised in volume until he was shouting the last words. Arthur felt his anger draining away and, with it, the last of his strength. He leaned heavily against the nearest tree, his head spinning as the rush of battle and argument left him. The dark spots in his vision grew quickly larger until he was swallowed up by them and Merlin's face was gone.

He woke when it was dark, lying on his bedroll next to a crackling fire. For a moment he let himself believe it all to have been a bad dream but one look at Merlin's face brought back reality. It had not been a dream. He thought about speaking but realised he didn't know what to say. In the end he settled for the first thing that came into his head.

"Why did you keep it from me?"

Merlin's shoulders hunched away and he poked at the glowing embers of the fire with a stick before answering.  
"I didn't want to die," he said finally "I knew that you'd given your word as a knight and I didn't want to die at your hand, Arthur."

"Did it never occur to you," Arthur said, fighting to keep the hurt out of his voice "That I wouldn't want you dead? That I would keep your secret? Do you think so little of me that you believe I would betray a friend?"

"I could never think that," Merlin said firmly "Never. I kept the secret at first because I hardly knew you, then to protect you. I never wanted you to have to choose between your oaths and me. Your father would have me executed if he knew. He wouldn't hesitate just because I'm your servant."

"I won't let that happen," Arthur said "I won't let anyone hurt you. You saved my life."

"That's what I didn't want to happen. You can't speak out against your father about magic, you know he'd throw you in the dungeons and have me burnt for enchanting you. It's better as a secret, Arthur, better that no one knows. If I'm ever discovered you can't tell anyone you knew. Uther would doubt you if you did, son or not. You know I'm right."

"So what shall I do?" Arthur asked tiredly "Let them burn you? Perhaps you think I'll be able to light the fire myself and watch you die." The hurt was back, mixed with horror at the idea of Merlin tied in the heart of a fire. Of that pale skin blackening and peeling, of hoarse screams, of dark locks burning to ash and floating away on the wind. There was no way he would ever allow that to happen: not even at his father's will. He found it almost ironic that the man who became his servant after saving him from magic could easily be his undoing using the very same magic. If his father found that he'd promoted a magic user into the very heart of Camelot... He snorted at the idea but didn't elaborate when Merlin looked at him like he was soft in the head. "What shall we do?" He asked finally. It was probably the most important question in the grand scheme of things after all.

"Dunno," Merlin shrugged "I never really imagined this happening this way to be honest. We've been ambushed in the woods so many times, I'd expected you to find out at the heart of some great battle." 

"When you saved my life?" Arthur asked "This hasn't been the first time, has it? You've been there for all the most dangerous battles, always insisting that I take you places a manservant shouldn't go."

"My place is at your side," Merlin said "As for how many times I've saved your life," he glanced slyly at the other man "I've lost count."

"You'll have to tell me more about it," Arthur told the other man "I've a feeling there are some interesting stories to be told."

"The very first time was the witch whose son was executed the day I came to Camelot," his servant said.

"You didn't use magic to push me from her blade. I felt your hands on me."

"Not then, no, before that. To break her spell."

"A falling candelabra broke her spell," Arthur began before he caught up with his own words. "You made if fall."

"I made it fall," Merlin confirmed. He looked troubled for a moment, his brow pinched "I didn't want to hurt her," he continued "She'd seen her son die in front of her, she'd suffered so much. But even then, I knew you had to be kept safe."

Arthur let himself wonder for a moment, how it must have hurt. To bring a child into the world, to nourish and care for him, raise him and then see him killed before you. He pushed the thought away but unshakeable sadness clung to him. To feel compassion, he reminded himself, was no weakness. It was a strength he would encourage when he was King. His own thoughts shocked him: he tried to be a good son and a worthy successor but more and more often now he caught himself making promises to be a better King when his time came. To rule with justice and kindness as well as respect. Respect could be secured with fear and fear was a tool to oppress his enemies, not his people.

"I can't change the law-" he began and shushed Merlin when he started to speak "I can't change it now, but one day I will. It will take time, changes like that aren't made overnight, but it will be changed Merlin. I promise you it will change." The other man didn't speak for a moment and when he did his voice was thick.

"You are destined to be a great King," he said "To be the greatest King Camelot has ever known or will know. Today I see that King in you, Arthur." He met the prince's eyes "Serving you is all I could ever wish for." It was difficult to speak in the face of such sincerity so Arthur settled for reaching out and placing his hand on the other man's shoulder. 

"I'm honoured by your service." Words he'd never imagined saying under circumstances like these but they rang true. He lay back, suddenly tired as the throbbing in his head renewed itself. There was an ache in his ribs too and he shifted a little to try and ease it but the action just made him hiss in a sharp breath as the pain intensified. 

"Lie back," Merlin said "these are hardly the worst injuries you've ever had but the bruising is quite serious."

"Could you heal me?" Arthur regretted the words as soon as he'd said them. "You don't have to," he rushed on. "I didn't mean that I wanted you to, I was just wondering if you could..." he trailed off awkwardly.

"I could," his manservant said steadily "I've done it before. But now you know, I won't without your permission. Not unless it saves your life." Arthur was torn. On the one hand he wasn't sure if he wanted to give himself over so willingly to magic. On the other, his head ached, his ribs were sore and he wanted to get back to Camelot. 

"Alright," he said finally "You have my permission." When Merlin reached for him, he held up a hand to stop him "Will it hurt?" he asked.

"No," he was answered "it takes away the pain." Merlin reached out again and this time Arthur grabbed his wrist.

"I meant will it hurt you?"

Realisation crossed Merlin's face and he shook his head "It doesn't hurt me," he said "I promise, magic doesn't hurt me, not even when I'm healing someone. Let me help you, Arthur." The prince released his hold on the other man's wrist and braced himself for the feel of magic. He wasn't expecting it to feel warm, like a bath set perfectly at blood temperature. It rushed through him, soaking away his aches and pains, leaving him feeling rejuvenated. It was, he realised, the first time he could remember being touched by magic that wasn't conjured to cause harm. And he was enjoying it, wallowing like a cat that hadn't been petted in far too long. The magic faded away and he couldn't help the sigh of disappointment at its loss. He sat up as Merlin's hand fell away from his shoulder where it had been resting lightly. The pain he'd felt was already a fading memory and he stretched as he rose to his feet.

"Do you need more rest?" He asked "We should head back to Camelot, I'm worried about the attack. It wasn't random, they knew where to find us and they were in full armour. They were ready for us, without your magic we'd be dead by now. How many survivors were there yesterday?"

"None," Merlin said and Arthur looked up sharply.

"There were more than a dozen and I took only four," he said "The rest are all dead?"

"Yes. I couldn't risk them following us and trying again or reporting back to whoever leads them." It made sense but Arthur found he was not only surprised but also a little sad.

"It was necessary," he said because he knew comfort was needed "Thank you." 

Merlin nodded then began to scoop dirt over the fire "I think we'll make it to Camelot by morning if we travel hard." He said "Will people believe that you defeated more than a dozen men and came through without a scratch?"

"What other explanation can there be," Arthur shrugged "People would never suspect the crown prince of using magic, nor would they accuse me- they know my father. It's a safe explanation." He rolled up the sleeping mat he'd been laying on and handed it to Merlin to swing over his shoulder. When the other man went to pick up the satchel that he carried along with the mats, he took it from him and slung it over his own shoulder. "I'm more rested," he said by way of explanation "We need to get back to Camelot quickly. At least the moon's bright tonight."

"I can light the way if we need it," Merlin offered. He held out his hand and a globe of pale blue light flickered into existence. It was ethereal and beautiful and Arthur had seen it before.

"You lit the way before," he realised "When I went for the morteus flower you lit the way for me. You were unconscious with fever, how did you help me from so far?"

"I don't really remember. I have glimpses of you in a cave, of Nimueh and spiders. I think I remember telling you to climb faster."

Arthur didn't know what to say so he settled for stamping out the last embers of the fire. "Let's go," he said "you're right about how long it will take us and we need to travel hard. Keep the light for now, it'll be a help. I don't need to tell you, if you see anyone coming then put it out." He didn't wait for an answer but set out at a half run. Once Merlin wouldn't have been able to keep up but he did so now easily. The blue globe floated at their side faithfully and Arthur took comfort from its presence.

The pace was hard and they rested little. Though Arthur was as fit as any man that trained for hours in full armour, he felt the ache keenly in his joints and muscles. He called a halt when he recognised a ring of stones they'd passed on their way out that marked half way. "We'll rest here a while, get our breath back," he said "Better to rest then keep our pace than carry on and slow down. He let the pack down and leaned against the only stone of the circle that remained unbroken. The rest were jagged spurs that barely reached to his waist with broken off chunks lying around the clearing. "I wonder why this stone alone stands," he mused "and the rest are broken."

"They could not break it," Merlin said "This was once a Druid prayer ring. No magic was done here, only prayer, but as part of the great purge the stones were broken and the Druids killed. The soldiers tried to break the last stone but nothing they did had an effect and they had to leave it standing." He smiled sadly "Perhaps it's just a very old, very strong stone. Or maybe the old gods were protecting it." 

"How do you know?" Arthur asked.

"Some things," Merlin said gravely "are written in the stones for those who can see them." He stared solemnly at Arthur for a moment and Arthur stared back until he caught the twinkle in his eye.

"Did you make that up?" He demanded. 

"Some of it," Merlin admitted "I couldn't help myself. You were so serious." He paused "The bit about the broken stones is true, and the last left couldn't be broken. I actually learnt about it from Gaius though. And he learnt it from a survivor. There are more left with the gift than you think, Arthur. Hiding it completely or using little subtle magics to ease things along. Those who use it for good greatly outnumber those who use it to take power and cause suffering." 

"Do you think it was the old gods protecting the stone?"

"I do. There's a feeling of power here. Whatever prayers the druids sent out, something heard them and something responded. The old gods could not stop the purge of magic and the burnings and tortures that magic users suffered but they could see to it that this stone stayed standing. A sort of defiance, I guess." Merlin smiled but even in the flickering blue light given off by his globe, Arthur could see his sadness.

"I'll have it rebuilt," he spoke before he could stop himself "I mean it," he insisted when Merlin looked at him as if he'd gone mad "Every stone that was torn down, every place of worship destroyed. I'll see them all rebuilt."

"That would be the work of a lifetime," Merlin said carefully "Hundreds were destroyed."

"I have a lifetime," Arthur said simply. Merlin studied him with those piercing blue eyes.

"The purge wasn't your fault," he said suddenly "You were a child too young to understand, then a soldier obeying his orders. You don't need to try and make up for your father's actions. He bears the blame for this, Arthur. It has come back to him many times over and some who wanted revenge tried to use you but that doesn't make it your fault."

"It would be good work," Arthur said stubbornly "Not penance but rebuilding. I promise Merlin, it will be done"

"It will be easier with help," Merlin offered "If you wanted me to then I could rebuild this just as it was." He smiled a little more cheerfully "You usually need my help in one way or another."

"Don't push your luck," Arthur warned, tugging the pack back on. He hoped that the darkness would conceal the smile that tugged at his lips. "Let's move. If we keep pace then we'll reach Camelot before dawn. They set out again, the blue light of Merlin's globe still lighting their footsteps.


	2. A Thousand Men and a Dragon

They arrived at Camelot just as the first rays of the sun were reaching the top of the castle walls. Uther greeted them; his expression grave.   
"I must speak with you," was his first statement "Come with me Arthur, to a more suitable place to discuss this. Your boy can take your things." He gestured impatiently and Arthur obediently offloaded the pack he'd forgotten he carried. 

"Wait in my chambers, Merlin," he ordered his servant "I'll have chores for you when I'm finished here." Something flickered over his father's face that was almost disapproving and Arthur felt a surge of apprehension that made him add "Unless my father has need of you." Uther waved him away and Merlin went down the corridor, clattering in his usual clumsy fashion. Some things, it would appear, did not change. The most powerful sorcerer Arthur had ever met had all the natural grace and poise of a newly born lamb. For some reason the thought made him feel a little fond and he found himself smiling. He quickly schooled his expression when he caught the look Uther sent him. That was definitely a reproving look. He followed his father- not to the main hall as he had expected but to the small room Uther used for paperwork and discussion too important to risk someone overhearing.

"I was approached by an advisor today with a warning," Uther began and Arthur cut in.

"I know, Father," he said "Someone is moving against us. Merlin and I were attacked in the woods not two full days walk from Camelot. Untrained men, but in full armour. They knew exactly where to find us and they attacked with the intent to kill. Someone must have passed on that Merlin and I were leaving the city." Uther looked surprised for a moment but then his eyes narrowed.

"How many were there?"

"Thirteen," Arthur replied "They were not used to working together as a group so they were clumsy. If they'd been more of a team, I wouldn't be here to tell you of this. Merlin and I would have been killed."

"Thirteen?" Uther looked impressed and Arthur felt a tug of shame. Thirteen dead but the kills were not ones he could claim as his own. 

"I worry that they knew where to attack us so easily. We did not have a real idea of where we would go until after we had set out."

"My son," Uther said gently "Your manservant leaves a trail in the woods that a half blind tracker could follow in his sleep. This leads neatly into the other matter. Could it be that these men followed you as they did hoping for a moment when your guard was, well," he paused for a moment and said delicately "Your mind was on other matters."

"I was hunting," Arthur said "A little distraction, yes, but I was alert to game and armed for it. It's foolish to follow a man carrying a crossbow and ambush him." For the first time in as long as Arthur could remember Uther looked a little embarrassed.

"They were hoping that your companion would be a distraction, I think."

"Merlin? Father, Merlin can talk for hours on end, Gods know that, but I've been ignoring him for a long time now. His chatter doesn't distract me.

"Arthur, are you being deliberately obtuse?" Uther said, exasperated "They thought to find you in a compromising position and so followed the pair of you."

"I don't understand," Arthur admitted "Who did they think I would be in a compromising position with?" Uther looked at him closely and suddenly grinned widely.

"You are actually completely unaware, aren't you," he said "Even I suspected there might be a grain of truth in the rumours but you've proven most clearly how the truth can become distorted until even those at the centre of the whispers know nothing of it."

"Father, will you please explain what you mean by this nonsense?" Arthur gritted out "Rumours fly about the palace and town; we know that. How is this in any way linked?"

"The rumours that the advisor spoke of were concerning you and your manservant," Uther told him "It's been said that you have been sharing your chamber with him."

"Of course I sometimes have him in my chamber," Arthur said "He's my manservant and I need him to-" He trailed off "Good Gods." 

Uther nodded, still grinning. Not only was his father's grin out of character in the extreme, it was starting to disturb Arthur a little. And the suggestion he'd just made was frankly ludicrous. When Arthur had regained the power of his speech he would say exactly that. All he seemed capable of right now was a sort of sputtering sound.  
"There's nothing wrong with you tumbling the boy," Uther carried on to Arthur's horror "The concern of the advisor was that there are a few discontents who mutter that you will not take a wife. You and I know this is nonsense, of course, but the advisor recomended a little more discretion and I agreed with him. I see from your response that you've not been taking him to bed or even thought of it."

"No," Arthur managed to get out.

"The rumours will fade," his father told him "As for the attack, if all were killed then no doubt others will see this as a warning. I'll have the bodies collected and we'll spread the word that the Crown Prince of Camelot took on thirteen men and doesn't show a scratch for it. With the way word spreads round here you'll be the slayer of a thousand men and a dragon by supper time." He stood and strode from the room chuckling at his own joke. 

Arthur was left standing with burning cheeks and his tongue tied in knots. He wasn't an innocent and he knew that men laid with men but he'd never really considered the idea. He liked women. He liked their soft curves and the hardened peak of a nipple; liked the spring of curls and slick wet under his fingers or tongue. And Merlin of all people. No-one could be further from his preferred type. He enjoyed curvy women who'd not hesitate to ride a horse or track a deer by his side. Merlin was capable of staying on a horse but that was all that could be said for his abilities there; he hated hunting and generally being active. And he was a man. No, nothing could be further away from what he liked. With that sorted in his head he turned and made his way towards his chambers. The lure of his bed was irresistible and he decided he deserved a little sleep. He'd run all night to reach Camelot and warn his father of a threat he didn't seem to take particularly seriously.

It was with sleep on his mind that he entered his rooms only to be stopped dead in his tracks by the sight before him. Merlin was asleep in his bed. Perhaps it was lack of sleep or the conversation he'd just had with his father but either way Arthur felt something stir inside him. Something that was mostly fondness but also partly wanting. There was room enough for him to crawl in alongside the other man and he entertained the idea for an insane moment before he came to his senses. You're tired, he told himself firmly, get some rest and you'll have a clearer head.

"Merlin," he raised his voice "Find your own bed before I kick you out of this one." He watched his manservant stir and gestured impatiently at the door "Be back in the middle of the day to wake me."

"Chores?" Merlin asked sleepily.

"Get some sleep," Arthur ordered brusquely "I'll have plenty for you to do after we've both had some rest." Merlin stumbled away and Arthur realised the something inside was back. A little tangle of affection, friendship and desire that he didn't properly understand. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind and began pulling his clothes off, leaving them in a tangled pile on the floor. The sheets were cool against his naked skin and he barely had the presence of mind to pull the blanket up to his waist before he was asleep.

In his dreams he was running. It was dark and he was running. It was disturbing to realise he didn't know if he was running from something or to something and there was an ache in his bones as if he'd been on the move for hours. The darkness was occasionally broken by flashes of light. It was blue light but not the familiar, comforting glow that merlin conjured. This light was the blue of ice reflecting a clear winter sky and he recoiled from it as if it burned him.   
He burst into a clearing that he recognised. The stones were tumbled down around the remains of the circle and vines were growing over them profusely, suffocating them in a sickly green carpet. He could see thorns pushing into the rocks and cracks spider webbing out from each puncture. His sword wasn't at his side and he was tempted to pull the growth away with his bare hands. A murmur from behind him had him spinning around and he blinked at the sight before him.

In place of the unbroken stone left in the circle he was staring at his own bed and Merlin sleeping there. The tug of emotion struck again and he swallowed against the rush of friendship and possessive fondness and want that caught in his throat. Merlin stirred, rolling over slightly and leaving more of the bed empty. Arthur found himself stepping forward feeling drawn to that empty space. He was less than ten steps away when the bed erupted into flames. The heat drove him back and he cried out in pain and anger. The flames were too intense to see his friend and there were no screams. For an instant he hoped but the smoke engulfed him and horror had him gagging and choking. He'd been at enough executions to recognise the smell of burning flesh.

He woke gasping around a lungful of smoke that wasn't there anymore, wrapped in blankets that were soaked in sweat. For a moment he lay there with his chest heaving before he struggled out of bed. Glancing at the sun he estimated he had a full two hours before midday and exhaustion still dragged at him. Just a dream, he reassured himself. You're tired and you've been faced with a lot this last day, it's no wonder your dreams are disturbed. He spared a bitter thought for his father and his mirth at the whole situation with Merlin. The dread of the nightmare clung to him and he muttered a curse. There was no way he was sleeping in that bed now. He pulled a blanket off and tried to find a comfortable position on the padded seat set against the wall. This time when he slept, he didn't dream. He woke before Merlin came to fetch him and dressed quickly. He was still unsettled from the night before and reached for his heavy gloves. It had been a while since he'd done any practice with the heavier weapons and the workout would be a good way to shake himself free of his disturbing thoughts. 

The double headed battle axe felt good in his hands and he started working on his form, holding each position until his muscles began to burn. He was aware that his men were gathering and watching him but he ignored them. The last pose was a difficult one and he held it with his back straight until his muscles and joints began to remind him that he'd spent the last night running over less than smooth terrain. With a grunt he set the axe down and began stretching carefully. There was a great difference between a muscle pushed to the limit and one pushed past it. No doubt he wouldn't be able to do this today if Merlin hadn't healed him last night.

As if conjured by the thought of his name, his manservant appeared at the other side of the training yard. He was carrying an armful of linens and clothing and heading for the rooms used for washing. Arthur wondered for a moment of he could wash clothes with magic or if such mundane things needed to be done by hand. He watched as Merlin tripped over the hem of a seated woman's skirt and dropped half his armful. Was it an act, he wondered. Who could suspect slender, clumsy, foolish Merlin of having power enough to kill a dozen men in the space of minutes. No, he decided, as the other man somehow stood on the end of a sheet he was carrying and lost his armful again. Acts were not for men such as Merlin. He had secrets, that much was true, but by nature he was not deceptive.

He turned his attention back to the axe but another thought occurred to him. Surely Merlin would not have been able to hide this from Gaius. Arthur knew the healer had once been a magic user. It was something he knew his father would have preferred him to be ignorant of and he had never spoken about it. With that in mind he headed for the healer's rooms. Gaius was bent over a boiling pot when he arrived. It sputtered and spurted and the smell was... well frankly, it was distressing. Arthur was already turning to leave when Gaius saw him.

"Arthur!" he said, a real smile creasing his weathered face "To what do I owe this pleasure? You're not unwell I hope." Arthur smiled back almost despite himself and mentally apologised for what he was about to do.

"How long have you known about Merlin's magic?" he asked bluntly and saw the flash of fear in the other man's eyes before his face was calm, brow quizzically furrowed.

"Arthur, are you feeling unwell?" he asked "Is this a joke? Merlin's a good boy but we're both well aware of his limitations. He's a perfectly normal young man, I assure you."

"No, he's not," Arthur cut in "He's one of the least ordinary people I know." Again the fear was there and he frowned at the older man "I'm not going to hurt him or send him away if that's what you're worried about. He's in no danger from me." Gaius looked relieved for a moment, then angry.

"And if I hadn't known?" he asked "You would have told me exactly where to find a sorcerer and in a place like Camelot that's a death sentence. Such words are not to be foolish with, Arthur."

"My apologies," Arthur said, feeling a genuine twinge of guilt "I didn't think. How long have you known?

"Since his arrival," Gaius said "His very first day, as a matter of fact. The day the sorcerer was burnt at the stake and he used magic in front of me. A complete stranger and he used magic. He's never had the best impulse control I suppose. How did you find out?"

"In the woods last night," Arthur said "He didn't mean to show me."

"Ah," said Gaius "I've heard tale of sorcerers who couldn't control themselves in certain," he paused delicately "situations. I should have warned him, I suppose but i wasn't sure if it would be relevant yet."

"Stop," Arthur blurted out. He marshalled his thoughts a little and managed to get out "We were attacked. He stopped a crossbow bolt that would have killed me. There were no 'situations'. Why does everyone think..." He trailed off.

"I see," the older main said "I take it then, you and he are not as the gossip would have you be?

"We're not," Arthur said "We've never been. Why does everyone think we are?" He looked up and saw Gaius looking at him closely. There was something in his face that Arthur couldn't identify but he felt uncomfortably exposed by the scrutiny.

"Such rumours eventully pass," the healer eventually said "Now, is that everything? I'm working on this poultice for an unfortunate young man who's contracted a particularly nasty skin rash."

"That's everything," Arthur said, turning to leave. He couldn't help but turn back "I swear I'll keep his secret, Gaius, I won't let any harm come to him. Not even from my father."

"I know, Arthur," Gaius said gently "Now off you go. I'm sure you have places to be and this poultice will be soon be smelling truly revolting."

Arthur left the room, more confused than he had been when he entered. That Gaius knew about Merlin didn't shock him but that the healer had believed there was truth in the rumours of their intimacy did. He cared for Merlin, certainly, but there was nothing there that should have people thinking he would bed the other man. In an objective way he was attractive enough with his dark hair, high cheekbones and piercing blue eyes. And his mouth- more full and mobile than many women Arthur had seen and shapely. Had Merlin been with women? Perhaps he'd been with men and driven them wild with that mouth. He stopped in the corridor, shocked by his own thoughts and the surge of jealousy at the thought of other men with Merlin. 

"My Lord." He was startled out of his reverie by a guardsman and winced inwardly. It didn't do for the Prince of Camelot to stand around like a half-wit when he had duties to carry out. "You are needed, Sire," the guard continued "In the great hall. Your father awaits you."

"Of course," Arthur nodded and together they turned and strode towards the centre of the castle. He noticed that the guards pace was quick enough to be out of the ordinary and felt a twinge of concern. For a guardsman to rush the prince, even subtly, was unusual. These were no ordinary summons. 

His concern deepened when he saw that two men guarded the great hall. There were men posted there all the time but never so heavily armed and usually in ceremonial garb and not the battered armour and chainmail of competent warriors. The doors were pushed open and Arthur found himself in a war council. The sober faces of his father's advisors were creased and worried and even Uther was frowning slightly.

"The attack in the woods," the king said "You were right, Arthur, it was cause for great concern. An army is moving against us. Word came today from the outer villages to the west."

"The people?" Arthur asked, his heart already hammering in his chest. Now was the time to be calm, he reminded himself. Keep a level head.

"The enemy does not stop in the villages, does not burn or pillage. They simply march on. Those who resisted were killed and those who hid were left alone." Uther said "The goal of our enemy appears to be Camelot. I need a scouting party to go out. The villagers are not soldiers; they cannot give me numbers or formations or possible battle strategies. Send your best men and send them quickly."

"I'll go," Arthur said "I'll move more quickly alone and it will save the time taken to prepare another." Uther frowned, clearly hoping to find a reason to keep Arthur there but he nodded after only a moment.

"Do not wear Camelot's colours," he said "And take someone with you. Two men travelling together cause less suspicion. Arthur nodded and turned to go. Uther's voice stopped him "Be careful," his father said "Do not be noticed. And hurry, Arthur. Go as quickly as you can."

"I won't fail you, Father," Arthur promised. The great doors were once again parted and he turned towards his quarters. His father had not specified who he should take and a minor noble travelling with his manservant would go unnoticed. He caught the shoulder of a passing maid "Find me Merlin," he ordered "Have him come to my rooms ready for travel. Tell him to be quick." She hurried away and he turned to his chambers, mind in turmoil.


	3. The Empty Inn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay! Here's two chapters together to make up for it :-)

He'd pulled half the clothes from his wardrobe before Merlin arrived, breathless and carrying his usual satchel. 

"Where are we going?" he asked "The maid you sent didn't know anything so I just packed as I usually would. Will it do? And I didn't know how long we were going for so I didn't know how much food to pack."

"We're taking two horses," Arthur told him "The kitchen has saddle-bags packed for sudden travel. We'll pick something up on our way to the stables. And we're going west. We'll take the most direct route we can until we get close then we'll ride on the road as if we were ordinary travellers. We cannot draw attention to ourselves." He paused, frustrated "Have I anything in this wardrobe that isn't covered in the emblem or colours of Camelot? I can't be recognised, Merlin."

"Try this chest," Merlin said "It's mostly black and brown, good enough quality to pass for a nobleman who wants to travel comfortably. I've been tracking down some things in case we ever needed to get you out of Camelot without anyone noticing." Arthur quickly stripped out of his red shirt and pulled on the black. He strapped on a lighter sword belt than he usually carried and the thin sword currently favoured in court. More of a rapier than anything with any useful weight but he needed to fit in and he felt confident enough with the blade to do real damage in a fight, even if he already missed the weight of his usual weapon. He looked over at the other man and was pleased to see he'd worn plain brown apparel. They would blend in well enough and he'd take two of the more plain horses from the stables- nothing with markings that would be easily remembered. 

"What's west?" Merlin asked "Does this have to do with the men who attacked us? Why do we have to be disguised?" Arthur strode from the room, ignoring the clothes he'd left strewn about. With Merlin absent, he couldn't guarantee that they'd be tidied before he returned but he had no time for tidiness. If there was an army of the size the villager had described then time would be the most precious commodity they had left.

"Move and listen, Merlin," he ordered "We haven't time to waste. It is to do with the men in the woods. Father thought that they might have been acting alone, hoping to overwhelm us with numbers, but there's been news from the outlying villages in the west. It's an army. From the description, a huge army. We're going out to look for them so we need to be careful not to be recognised. We must be completely unmemorable."

"Your father sent you to do this?" Merlin asked and Arthur could hear the question he didn't ask.

"He didn't like it but he agreed that time was the important factor. Get what we need from the kitchen then meet me in the stables. Hurry Merlin." Arthur had selected two mounts when Merlin appeared with their packs. The stable master was tacking up one and he tended to the other himself. From the very subtle disapproving looks he was getting, he gathered that the crown prince tacking up his own horse was not the done thing. He didn't care. In the end, it all boiled down to time. Time that was running out. They swung into the saddles as soon as the horses were ready and Arthur set out at a brisk pace. Not full speed but quick enough. He wanted to be able to ride hard and fast back if he had to and the horses would need their energy.  
"We'll cut through the woods," he called back over his shoulder "Head straight west from here. The path through the trees is clear at the moment and the streams should be easy enough to get through. We'll keep this pace where we can, I don't want the horses tired unnecessarily."

"It's the same way we came from before," Merlin said "Those men were probably an advance scouting party. The crown prince practically alone in the woods, you were a perfect target. Losing you would have left Camelot completely vulnerable to their attack."

"They will have been missed," Arthur said grimly "It won't make much difference to the advance of the army, large groups of people can only move so fast, but it means we'll have to be even more careful. They'll be watching for a response. It's why I want to ride on the roads when we get closer. Men in plain sight are often more easily forgotten than those that are spotted in the shadows." 

"I might be able to help with that," Merlin said. There was a note in his voice that Arthur couldn't quite place. Nerves coupled with resignation- as though he was regretting having spoken at all.

"You're not exactly the most stealthy of people, Merlin," Arthur pointed out.

"I can be," Merlin countered "Or, rather, I can't but it wouldn't matter. They wouldn't be able to see me. Or you. I could stop them from seeing us."

He'd forgotten. That was the first thought he had. He'd forgotten that Merlin had magic. He gathered his thoughts quickly.

"You can make us invisible?" he asked.

"Sort of," Merlin said. He must have sensed Arthur's impatience because he carried on quickly "It's not actual invisibility but it does the same thing. The spell just encourages people not to notice us or remember that we were ever there. It might seem like they're looking but really we'll be completely unmemorable. Like you wanted."

"Is it safe?" Arthur asked after only a moments hesitation.

"Yes," replied Merlin "Animals will be able to see us but their minds work differently."

"When we get close," Arthur said after only a little more hesitation. Magic can be good. He reminded himself. Can be warm and healing and comforting. Merlin himself is proof enough of that. "How long can you hold it?" he asked out loud.

"Hours," was the reply "all day if I had to although I think it would stop if I were to lose consciousness. It's not a demanding spell, it just needs me to be aware of my surroundings."

"We're in trouble then," Arthur sniped automatically. He almost felt guilty until he noticed Merlin's wry grin at the comment.

They crossed a small river unremarkable in every way except for the fact that it marked the official edge of Camelot lands. What came next was still under his father's rule but wasn't as closely governed as the lands nearby. The outer villages were left alone for the most part, providing a tithe to the castle in return for the protection of the army and the judgement of the king for serious concerns that could not be settled by local council. Arthur understood the system had been that way for hundreds of years and to change it would be met with only resistance. That didn't stop him from wishing that Camelot's arm reached further. If they'd only had sentries in the further out villages- a knight even- the news might have reached them sooner and been more concise.

His horse stumbled slightly, jarring him out of his thoughts. It was getting dark already. How could so much time have passed. Merlin was uncharacteristically quiet, drooping a little in his saddle.

"You're tired," Arthur said "We've travelled a long way and on little rest. We can stop here. The outer villages are more than one days ride away."

"No," Merlin said "We can't stop. Not until we reach somewhere safe to stay. An inn, an abandoned barn, anything that will mean the horses are hidden. A nobleman and his manservant wouldn't choose to travel this hard and stay in the woods. We'll need to find a road." Arthur racked his brains. His knowledge of Camelot proper was practically encyclopaedic but he was a bit more hazy when it came to lands further out.   
"There's the main road to the east of here," he said "It's near to a village but not too close. I think there's an inn along it. Maybe a mile ride?"

"That works," Merlin said "We can head out again early." Arthur nodded and directed his horse towards the road he hoped was as close as he believed.

It was full dark when they reached the inn and they would have ridden past if the hanging sign hadn't creaked and alerted the horses. No lights were lit and the doors were bolted firmly. A whisper from Merlin had torches and lamps flaring and Arthur realised that the house and stables were deserted. It made sense, he thought sadly. Buildings and belongings were being left by the oncoming army and those who hid were spared. A large army wouldn't reach this inn for days but if you weren't a soldier then it was easy to believe that an army would move quickly.  
"We'll stay here," he said "We can stable our own horses and make use of the inn's rooms." He watched as Merlin slipped of his horse and led it towards what was obviously the stables. He could have left him to it but a twinge of conscience had him leading his own horse to follow.

"I'll tend to them," Merlin offered but Arthur shook his head.

"It'll be quicker with two of us," he said "These are not ordinary times after all."

He hadn't untacked and brushed down a horse in a long time and he was almost surprised at how much he enjoyed it. The stable was well maintained and feed was not a problem. The water supplied for the animals was clear and easy to scoop from the trough into wooden buckets. 

"They won't need the torches," Merlin said "I'll douse them." He kept one alight and they headed for the main house. Once through the door Merlin lit more lamps and Arthur realised that the accommodation was as well kept for guests as for animals. The tables were scrubbed, the hearth was clean and the floor was swept. They investigated the kitchen and saw that they wouldn't need a fire to eat that night. Merlin wordlessly gathered up some plates and they ate well on smoked meat and bread. A tart had been left half eaten and they finished it from the platter it had been baked on. It was strangely intimate to sit so closely over food and the tart sweetness of the berries had them both licking their lips. Merlin's lips glistened when he licked them, Arthur noted, and then forced himself to put the thought aside. This was neither the time nor place for such thoughts. 

"Have you had plenty?" Merlin asked quietly "I can cut more bread and bring some fruit."

"I've had plenty," Arthur said "This is a good place to stay. Perhaps we'll come back when this is over. The owners must be good people to keep such a pleasant place."

"It's nice," Merlin agreed. He moved around the kitchen putting dishes in their place and wrapping bread and meat back into the containers they'd been in. 

"We should rest," Arthur decided "We'll have a long day tomorrow and we'll need to keep ourselves sharp."

"There's a room off of this one," Merlin said "Two beds and a door to the outside. If someone was to come to the front we would hear them and be able to get out." 

"That's what we'll do then," Arthur agreed. Apparently, some of the travels Merlin had undertaken with the knights had had some influence- the idea was tactically sound. Arthur took his shoes off and set them by the bed closest to the door. It only made sense for him to be nearer to any potential threat; he was the trained warrior after all. Merlin sighed as he unknotted his customary neck cloth and set it down on the table at his bedside. He moved to take of his shirt.

"Don't," Arthur said "We need to be ready to move quickly if necessary. We'll sleep clothed." He ignored the feeling in his chest as he spoke. This was no time for regret; especially since he wasn't sure what it was he regretted. A less comfortable nights sleep? Or a chance to see Merlin undressed? Again that tangle of desire and affection tugged at him and he frowned internally. There were only so many lies one person could tell themselves and he'd just about reached his limit. These feelings for Merlin were not just brought about by lack of sleep and dangerous situations. The rumours that he bedded his manservant had apparently opened his eyes to the fact that he did actually want to bed his manservant. 

"Do you think this army is as big as the reports are saying?" Merlin asked into the darkness of the room. He sounded young and unsure and Arthur realised he didn't even know what season his manservant was born in, let alone an actual date. He'd always assumed himself to be the older but that might not even be true.

"It doesn't matter," he made himself sound confident "Camelot commands an army of professional soldier and knights under skilled tacticians. We will stand, Merlin. Camelot will stand."

"What if-" Merlin began, but Arthur cut across him.

"No what ifs," he said "Go to sleep, Merlin. You'll need it." There was silence after that and Arthur slipped into sleep.

He woke just as dawn crept through the window and, though he thought he moved silently, Merlin's eyes flickered open as well. They readied for departure in silence and Arthur carefully left coins on the sturdy table at the front of the inn. 

"Will we use the road?" Merlin asked and Arthur nodded.

"We'll go mostly unnoticed there, just two more people on the road. Any advance parties from the army will likely be in the woods and if they are in the roads we'll be able to see them coming."  
As the sun rose, however, Arthur realised he'd need to rethink. They were travelling west towards the oncoming army. Every other person on the road was travelling east towards Camelot. If there were any hidden scouts then the two riders moving against the direction of travel would be noticed. They received several warnings from travellers and Arthur pulled his horse to the side of the road with a curse.

"We'll have to go back into the woods and risk the scouting parties" he said grimly "There's no chance that we won't be noticed like this. We might as well be waving the flag of Camelot over our heads." Frustration caught at him with jagged nails. 

"Arthur," Merlin said softly and he looked quickly at his manservant. Merlin had that uncertain look again "We don't need to worry about scouting parties or spies," he continued "We can go unnoticed, remember."

"Are you sure?" Arthur asked. He forced himself not to press the issue when Merlin nodded They needed all the time they could manage and if Merlin was confident then it was only his reluctance standing in the way.

"Do it," he ordered. He watched Merlin dismount and rest a hand on both their horses necks.

"Cover my hand with yours," Merlin said, tendrils of amber working their way into his eyes.

"Why?" Arthur asked curiously even as he did as he was directed. Merlin's fingers were cool and his slender hand was covered entirely by Arthur's. Merlin was already muttering under his breath and the there was a shimmer in the air around them. The amber in his eyes flashed golden and the shimmer faded out of the air.

"We needed to be linked in the spell otherwise none of us would have seen the others. I'm not sure it would matter to the horses but I wanted to be safe." Merlin told him. He swung back onto his horse and they pulled back onto the main road. Arthur rode on high alert until he noticed the blank gazes of people around them. They moved out of the way of the two riders but their gazes passed over them without recognition. Out of curiosity, Arthur stopped his horse directly in front of a man pulling a hand cart. The man stopped but he gazed through the horse and rider as if they weren't there. Another man shouted from behind and Arthur hastily moved to one side. The shout had been aimed at the man with the cart and without obstruction, he continued as if nothing had happened.

"Why don't they see us?" he asked when they had enough space to ride side by side "They don't walk into us but they don't really see us."

"Gaius tried to explain it to me once," Merlin said "I didn't really understand but it has something to do with different parts of the brain. One part sees and responds and another part recognises and remembers. They see and respond but they don't recognise and remember."

"I see," Arthur said, at loss for anything else to say.

"Not a very good explanation, I know," Merlin said apologetically. "I don't really think about it. The magic is always just there. I've been practicing channelling it but mostly it just comes to me. To be without," he paused and shuddered "It's a terrible feeling. To be so helpless."

"Something can take it away?" Arthur asked.

"Nothing can take it away," Merlin answered "But some spells can mute it or lock it away. I've read of shackles that were enchanted and used on magic users who'd committed crimes. As long as they were physically bound, their magic remained bound." He looked troubled by the thought.

"Would it be so bad to be ordinary?" Arthur asked, shocked to find himself a little envious.

"It wouldn't be like that," Merlin told him "Magic is like another sense to those who use it. The most vital sense. Imagine being captured and to keep you from escaping your captors blinded you. That would be what it was like for a magic user kept in those chains."

"Would you make such chains for me?" Arthur asked. He realised he'd overstepped almost immediately but he couldn't take the question back. 

"Would you ask me to?" Merlin asked him softly.

"If I had to," Arthur admitted grimly "If it was all I had left to save Camelot then I would. I'm sorry, Merlin." There was no reply for long moments and when Arthur looked over the other man was staring at his hands.

"If you asked me to," he finally said "If you asked me to, I would enchant chains for you. I'm sorry, too."

For years, Arthur thought, you've watched me execute magic users. Watched my father order torture, my soldiers obey. Watched me obey. Where does your loyalty come from? How can you so calmly discuss creating the only means I might have of chaining you. Of blinding you.

"Thank you," was all he said out loud however. Some words were not meant to be spoken. He shook of the strange sadness that gripped him. "We need to move faster. We'll travel alongside the road. The path is smooth enough for speed and we won't need to worry about entangling those on the road. Or about being seen by the enemy."

They carried on at a brisk pace and the sun was low in the sky when they heard the rumble in the distance. How many people were there, Arthur wondered, that the very ground was shaking at their advance? Merlin's face was pale and Arthur realised that to stay where they were was out of the question.

"We'll leave the horses," he said "They won't be noticed and it'll be easier if we approach on foot. We'll come back for them and they're trained enough not to stray too far."

"They won't leave this clearing," Merlin said confidently "I can make sure of that. There's grazing and water enough here for them." Although Arthur wondered about the magic used to keep horses from straying, there wasn't enough time for discussion.

"Very well," he said "Let's be quick then." It took them an hour on foot to reach a hill that allowed them to see over the lands to the west. What they saw there made Arthur's blood run cold.

"Gods," he gasped, stunned. The army was massive, thousands of men. He estimated perhaps ten thousand marched on through the scrublands. They would be slowed considerably by the forest but by his best guess they would arrive at Camelot after as little as ten days had passed. He looked to Merlin and saw that he was pale but his gaze was focused on a particular point. Following his line of sight, Arthur tried to see what he saw. And clenched his teeth on an exclamation when he did. "What is that?" he asked in shock.

The creature at the head of the army was head and shoulders taller than the rest. It stood like a man but with massive and misshapen shoulders that lead to bulky arms ending in shovel like hands that almost touched the ground. The hips of the creature were narrow and the legs slender. They seemed to bow under the massive weight of the creatures upper torso. Its face was surprisingly human with blocky features and deep-set eyes. The beast, or perhaps it was a man after all, had a mane of black shaggy hair that fell in dreadlocks down the back of its neck. All in all, it was a sight that sent chills down the spine. Some of the features were human, that much was true but the overall effect was of an animal and not a man. 

Suddenly the creature stopped and scented the air. It raised a burly hand and they watched as the light that Arthur had begun to associate with magic unfurled in its palm. However, instead of ethereal blue or warming gold, this light was sickly green; the colour of the moss that grew over the top of swampland and covered the mud that could suck a man down in minutes. 

"Get down," Merlin snapped "It's a spell for searching." With surprising strength he pulled Arthur down into the hollow of a huge tree root. 

"What-," Arthur began as Merlin caged him against the tree with his body.

"Stay still," his manservant said quickly "Don't make any sound." And, with that, he started to mutter again in the same language he'd used before. Arthur could see little flickers and arrows of the green light darting through the trees. When the light reached them he thought that they would be discovered but the green bounced back from them in a ripple of gold. Merlin's counter spell, he realised, was keeping them hidden. Then the light was gone and Arthur let out the breath he hadn't even realised he was holding. Merlin was breathing harshly, sweat beading his brow, and they were still pressed together against the tree root. Arthur could feel the rise and fall of their chests, the lean muscle pressed against him. He swallowed and the his eyes drifted, almost unbidden, to Merlin's mouth. To the full lips that had filled his imagination. The moment was electric and he realised with a surge of triumph that Merlin was tilting his head upwards. Was offering his mouth.

An explosive sound shattered the silence and they ducked down only to realise that the sound had come from the army below. It was a horn and it sounded three more times.

"Signalling," Arthur realised "They're probably stopping for the night- it takes a long time to organise an army like that. We have to go. We have to get back to the horses and ride as quickly as we can to Camelot." Merlin nodded and Arthur almost left it at that. They could forget the moment had ever happened. He took two full steps before he realised how cowardly he was being and turned back. Merlin was too close behind him to stop and they collided. Instead of letting the other pull away, Arthur kept his hands on his shoulders.

"We're not done," he said quietly "Gods know this is not the best time for this but we're not done, Merlin. You and I have much to discuss."

"No time now," Merlin agreed "But you're right," he glanced up shyly through his eyelashes "We're not done."

"Back to the horses," Arthur ordered "And then we ride. We ride as fast as we can."


	4. War Games

The ride took them all that night and the next day. It was full dark when they arrived in Camelot and the horses were dripping with sweat, their flanks quivering with exertion. Arthur himself wasn't feeling much better and it was only through sheer force of will that he stopped his legs buckling when he dismounted. Leon was at his side almost instantly, a firm hand clasped on his shoulder.

"Sire," he said "Your father awaits you in the main hall. He is eager for your news." Roughly translated that meant he was expected immediately no matter his state of exhaustion.

"See to Merlin," he ordered. He didn't let his concern show on his face or in his voice but Leon still sent him an understanding look as he moved to support the younger man. He didn't allow himself to look back and was surprised to hear a familiar tread at his heel. "You should rest," he said softly.

"I will when you do," Merlin said determinedly "You're as human as the rest of us you know. And I can keep up," he added.

"We'll report then rest," Arthur said "We haven't much time though." By then they were at the great doors of the hall and they were swung open quickly. An entire war council was gathered inside and they turned towards him as one. He could see in each and every face the hope that the reports were exaggerated and that the force approaching was one that could be easily defeated. He squared his shoulders and stood before them as strongly as he could. They deserved strength from their prince.

"The reports are no exaggeration," he said bluntly "A huge army ranges to the west of here. Their goal currently appears to be Camelot. They do not kill the villagers, they simply move through the villages. Possessions are not touched and only those who resist are killed." He took a breath "I would estimate them to number around ten thousand men." A shocked ripple passed through the room and he waited for them to quiet. He noticed suddenly how aged his father was looking. "Their leader is a misshapen creature," he said "Perhaps he is only a particularly brutish man but I believe there is something unnatural about him. Something not human." The quiet in the room was oppressive until his father spoke.

"How much time do we have?" he asked.

"Perhaps ten days," Arthur replied "Not much time but some. Enough for preparations." Uther nodded gravely

"Tell me of their machinery," he said "Everything you saw, everything you noticed."

"They didn't pull any machinery," Arthur said "Nothing that would slow them down in the woods."

"There were carts," Merlin said "Small carts pulled by sturdy ponies. They were loaded with tools. I think they intend to build what they need here. The woods will provide enough raw material." Arthur glanced over at his manservant gratefully. He hadn't noticed the carts and a detail like that would be useful. He saw that Merlin's pale skin was almost translucent and the shadows under his eyes were deep. With a start he realised that he himself was swaying a little on his feet. He locked his joints resolutely. He would not fall down in his father's war room. 

"That is enough for tonight," Uther said "You have done well, Arthur, and your servant. We have enough information for now and we need you rested for the coming days." He turned back to his advisors and Arthur understood he was dismissed. With every joint aching and ground glass pricking behind his eyelids he turned to his chamber, Merlin once more at his heels. On their arrival he only had to think for a fraction of a moment before he took the key from its hook and locked the door. Merlin watched with curious eyes.

"Sleep with me?" Arthur asked. Merlin nodded immediately and Arthur rushed to correct any misunderstanding "That wasn't an order," he said "I will never order you to do anything like that. Never, I swear to you. I wish only to sleep and to have you with me."

"I know it wasn't an order," Merlin cut across his babbling "I know you're not like that Arthur. I'll sleep here." The ghost of a grin crossed his face "It's far more comfortable than my bed, anyway," he pointed out. Arthur began pulling of his clothes without thinking. He was out of his shirt before he realised that it might not be welcome and he stopped immediately, looking to Merlin.

"I've seen you without clothes before," Merlin pointed out "Many times, as a matter of fact. I've seen you in the bath, seen you get dressed, get undressed." He trailed off as Arthur threw his shirt to one side and approached him.

"I've never seen you without clothes," he pointed out "Seems unfair somehow." He moved slowly, reaching out and tugging Merlin's neck cloth away. He might have done more but even the light pressure of the moving cloth had the other man swaying on his feet and his own exhaustion came crashing back to him. "To bed, I think," he said and they undressed quickly, leaving their smallclothes by mutual unspoken agreement. The bed engulfed them in a cool embrace and suddenly keeping his eyes open seemed like a truly momentous task. The mattress was a little dented in the middle and Merlin fell into his side. Arthur only had to turn a little and they were nestled comfortably together.

"Candles," he said out loud and started to get up to blow them out. Merlin simply pushed him back and his eyes flashed amber then gold. The candles all went out as if snuffed and the room was lit only by the outside torches. Merlin curled into his side and Arthur pressed his lips to his hair gently. It might have stayed at that but Merlin lifted his face to the touch and the next kiss fell on his forehead. Not even the bone deep exhaustion could stop Arthur then and he kissed his way over to the other man's mouth. The kiss was soft and sweet and it packed more punch than any other touch he could remember. They traded kisses for a moment and then Merlin settled back against his side. The sleep that took him was deep and dreamless. 

The next day dawned bright and the sun shone down on the frantic activities of the people of Camelot. After speaking with the council, it had been decided that the women and children should evacuate out of the city and the castle. They would retreat to the villages in the east where, gods willing, they would be safe. With Camelot the most likely destination for the army to halt at, any sent away would be kept from harm. The evacuation effort would take several days and was being organised by the noblewomen of the court. Arthur suspected that it was the maids and ladies in waiting of those women who were doing the practical work but it left him free to work and he was grateful. His task was not one he enjoyed, however. The army outnumbered them by a ridiculous amount. Any able-bodied men were needed to fight. And he needed to give what precious little training he could in the short time left.

He had wondered if they would abandon Camelot completely but Uther would not entertain the idea and in his heart he agreed. He would die defending Camelot before he would abandon her. The problem was that he would not die alone and, as he taught farmers to lift swords and teenagers to raise shields, he felt an almost unbearable sadness. The men who fought this time would mostly be untrained and too old or too young for war games. 

It was the morning of the fourth day when the women left. They carried children who could not walk and those that could had possessions strapped to them. The army would not long be stopped by the walls of the city and the homes there would be vulnerable. With many gone, those left would fall back to the castle. The walls there were more fortified and a siege could be held for quite some time. He watched the slow procession leaving the gates and wasn't surprised when one person left the main group and approached him.

"Gwen," he greeted her.

"Sire," she bobbed a curtsey and he fought the urge to roll his eyes. She'd always been so aware of her place. More concerned with propriety than even Arthur himself. "Will you do something for me?" she asked.

"If I can," he said. Once he might have agreed to anything for her but now things were different. They were different.

"Keep Merlin safe," Gwen said "He's not a warrior and Gaius would never get over the shock of it if he were to..." She stopped there and there was a sparkle of tears in her eyes "They are both dear to me," she said quietly "Keep them safe if you can." 

"My life before theirs," he said, compelled to speak honestly "That I can promise you, Guinevere."

"Take care of yourself as well," Gwen said in that familiar scolding tone. A voice called her name and she looked over to the group of people leaving "I must go," she said "Stay safe, Sire. Stay safe, Arthur." With that she pressed a light kiss to his cheek and turned away from him. Once, such a kiss might have been a promise of more but he realised that, now, it was simply an act of friendship.

The days that followed dragged and flew all at the same time. Walls were fortified, men trained and outfitted. Strategies were discussed and discarded and every advisor had a different plan for the defeat of the army. Uther looked more and more grey and on the sixth day Arthur bullied him into his chambers.

"You must sleep," he insisted "And sleep properly. More than the few hours you've had the past several nights."

"Arthur," his father began irritably "I am the king. The men must see me to be overseeing things. It gives them confidence to know they will not be abandoned."

"How confident will they be if they see you fall on your face?" Arthur snapped. He dragged his hands over his face in frustration "Forgive, me," he said "I'm being foolish and overbearing. But you still need sleep, Father." Uther studied him for a long moment.

"You are right," he finally said at last "I will rest until morning." Some of the tension in Arthur's body finally released only to return when Uther raised his hand. "You will do something for me as well though, Arthur."

"Of course, Father."

"Gaius approached me earlier. He has need of a knight to accompany his assistant into the woods. There are herbs and plants that need to be stocked up on to keep our medicine supply at its fullest. Mostly what is need is in the east but there is some to the north as well. A well trained knight is needed to escort Merlin and I wish you to go." Was that a ghost of a smile at Uther's lips?

"My duties here-" Arthur began but was stopped.

"These are my orders," Uther said firmly "Take a day, Arthur. You will still be doing useful work. These medicines may be vital." 

"Yes, Father," Arthur said after only a moments hesitation. He pulled back the covers on his father's bed and left the chambers with a slight bounce in his step. he and Merlin had had hardly any time with the advance of the army making every moment so precious. He strode towards the chambers that Merlin and Gaius shared. An early start would be needed in the morning and he wanted to see them before he slept. The room was steam filled when he arrived and Merlin was hunched over a massive bubbling pot. Gaius threw herbs into the pot at measured intervals, turning a little glass full of sand every time he did. Arthur waited at the door to be noticed: the timing of the task was clearly vital. He found himself leaning against the door frame and dozing slightly, his joints locked so he wouldn't fall.

"Arthur," Merlin's voice disturbed him. "We're done here," he continued "What do you need?"

"You," Arthur murmured sleepily and felt the blush rise when Gaius arched an eyebrow. He cleared his throat "I've been assigned to you," he tried again "To gather medicines tomorrow." Merlin's eyes were assessing as he looked the prince over.

"You'll need to sleep well tonight, then," he said "We have several miles to cover tomorrow. Go and rest, Arthur. We'll meet in your chambers when there's enough light outside to see our way?"  
Arthur nodded. He was struck by the urge to ask Merlin to spend the night in his bed again but Gaius's presence made that impossible. "Tomorrow, then," he said by way of farewell and nodded in acknowledgement to Gaius as he left.

His sleep was unsettled that night, full of the sickly green light of bad magic and the smell of smoke. Despite that, however, he felt better for resting and was alert enough to be dressed and ready at first light. Merlin arrived as he was pulling on his boots.

"Are you ready?" he asked. He was once again wearing plain brown and had his customary satchel slung across his body.

"I am," Arthur said "We should go; make best use of the light.

"We'll need to go by the kitchens," Merlin said "They can give us a little food and we'll need the baskets they use for gathering vegetables."

The baskets turned out to be as tall as Arthur's knee and about as wide round as his arms could reach. They had straps that were designed to go over the user's shoulder and Arthur slung one up on his back. They weren't heavy empty but he suspected that, full, they'd be an unwieldy burden. Merlin pulled one up as well and they were on their way. 

It took a full mile's walk before Arthur plucked up enough courage to speak.

"Merlin," he began hesitantly "We've had no time since that night. No time to even talk, let alone be together."

"What do you want to talk about?" The other man's tone seemed carefully neutral.

"Was it," Arthur began but stopped, unsure how to phrase what he wanted to say. "Was it to you liking?" he settled on finally, even if it made him feel insecure to say it out loud. Merlin looked up, a look on his face Arthur couldn't quite decipher. 

"Was it to yours?" he asked finally.

"I asked first," Arthur said, then felt like an idiot "It was," he said quietly "I've never felt anything like it before. When you touch me," he trailed off and Merlin was silent for a long moment.

"I spoke to Gaius," he said eventually "He said you'd spoken to him about rumours. Rumours about us."

"I did." Arthur said.

"Was it just the rumours?" Merlin blurted out "Did you want me at all before you heard them? Do you want me now or was it just to satisfy your curiosity?"

Arthur was stunned into silence but he'd always been told that actions spoke louder than words. He let his own pack down and caught Merlin's upper arms, turning him towards him. Merlin's pack was balancing precariously on one shoulder and he let it slide to the ground. The crackle of forest leaves was the only sound he could hear as it fell. And Merlin was looking down at those leaves. Arthur raised his chin gently with one hand and ignored the pitch in his stomach when he remembered doing that same thing with his sword only a few days ago.

"I want you," he said firmly "The rumours opened the door for me, that much is true. But I walked through it of my own accord, Merlin. Do not doubt me when I say that I want you. Not to satisfy my curiosity and certainly not to please the gossips of Camelot. Has this worried you since the night we slept together?"

Merlin nodded shyly, the tiniest hint of a blush dusting his cheekbones and Arthur was entranced. He'd write poetry if he could, dedicated to that little hint of pink. He dismissed the idea that he was being overly sentimental. He could be as foolishly romantic as he wanted inside his own head. "What else can I say to persuade you?" he asked softly "Will you take my word on the matter? Or perhaps I can persuade you in other ways." He leaned down slowly towards the other man and Merlin met him halfway. 

The kiss was like nothing he'd felt before. Not a gentle touch of lips kept tame by the drag of bone deep exhaustion but an inferno Arthur felt through his entire body. Merlin kissed possessively and submissively in turn and the thought of how that might extend to other bedroom activities made Arthur's head spin. His hands moved of their own accord, sliding to fit at Merlin's waist and then, when the kiss deepened, curving down and round. The tight muscles he found there filled his palms exactly to his liking and he couldn't help the rumble of satisfaction in his chest. Merlin angled his head slightly and his teeth grazed over Arthur's lower lip before he opened his mouth to take the kiss deeper. Merlin's hands slipped under his shirt and ran up his stomach to his chest and Arthur moaned into the kiss. He knew he made a disappointed sound when Merlin drew back but he couldn't find it in himself to care. 

"We must gather more," Merlin said quietly "All we have is today. Uther will not permit any more after this. The army may be upon us any day now."

"Of course," Arthur nodded regretfully. He let Merlin go and ignored the voice in his head demanding that he take him back into his arms immediately. "There'll be more time for us," he said determinedly "When this is over, we'll have more time."

"I look forward to it." Merlin said solemnly. They returned in silence to the day's task and Arthur often found his gaze straying towards the other man. They said little to each other but he found it soothing to be in Merlin's company without the drive for conversation. It was dark when they returned to Camelot and, in the darkness, Arthur wasn't worried about being seen when he pressed a kiss to Merlin's mouth.

Three days later the approaching army reached the walls of Camelot city.


	5. Fire

Arthur stared out over the hordes amassed at the walls of Camelot. They made no move to attack and he understood all too well that this show of force was warfare in itself. No arrows were shot and no rocks hurled but the resolve of his men would be undermined. Surely such an army was too big to be defeated: too powerful to stand against. He pushed the thoughts away. To give in to them would be losing a battle before he had even drawn his sword. 

"They're not a very tidy army," came a familiar voice from next to him and he knew that his face reflected his surprise.

"What was that?" he asked Merlin, who gestured outwards.

"The army," he clarified "They're not very tidy. The armour doesn't match, they don't form ranks. I can see four flags from here and they all seem to be different."

"I'm sorry the army laying siege to us doesn't meet your exacting standards," Arthur raised his voice a little, sure his amusement would carry to the surrounding men "I'll be sure to take them to task for it most severely."

Merlin grinned at him and Arthur could see the smiles on faces around them. He was suddenly fiercely glad of Merlin's presence. When morale was plummeting, even the smallest of jokes could keep men from falling apart.

"Arthur," his father's voice came from behind them and Merlin bowed deferentially to one side "Something amuses you, my son?" the King asked.

"We were merely commenting on the scruffy nature of our opponents," Arthur said lightly. The smiles around them grew and Uther's lips turned up a little at the corners.

"Indeed," was his only comment before he stepped to the edge of the wall and looked out. 

Arthur couldn't quite keep his face entirely sober but he repressed his smile as best as he could as he moved to his father's side. The ranks of the army were shifting, drawing aside, and a wide aisle forming. The misshapen man Arthur had seen before strode down between the ranks of his men. He wore no armour but was clad in fitted leather that only emphasised his deformities. He didn't carry a sword, Arthur noticed but rather a massive mace- four foot long and mounted with a spiked ball at least the size of Arthur's head. He doubted anyone with less than those massive shoulders would be able to wield it but that was probably the point. A ruler was an example of strength after all and to control so many men then his opponent had to be the strongest. Uther ruled with his will and the respect of his people. This brute ruled with his strength alone.

"Camelot," the shout was an ear shattering roar and every one of the men on the walls flinched, Arthur included "Pendragons, you are judged." Was it magic? There was no way that any voice could be so loud without it, surely.

"You are judged as monsters," the beast carried on "And we are your justice. For every crime you have committed against magic users we judge you. And for every crime you will be punished. The streets will run with your blood and the walls will echo with your screams." 

The army screamed as one, roaring and crying out, and, to Arthur's shame he felt his resolve waver and the urge to run take him. He stiffened his shoulders against it and stood firm.   
"Hold," he called out "Hold, men. We are soldiers of Camelot. We will not be cowed." He felt a brush of quick fingers over his hip and knew without looking that Merlin was reassuring him. "We will hold," he repeated himself, pouring conviction into his tone. 

"You will fall," the beast roared and then he howled. The sound was completely inhuman and his eyes flickered with flame. The line of his jaw changed and, for a moment, he was almost an animal. His army roared with him and Arthur caught a look at his father's face. For an instant, Uther looked tired and afraid but it was gone quickly and Arthur might have thought he'd imagined it except he was feeling exactly the same thing. The beast was falling back, his army closing ranks around him.

"Pass the word," Uther called out "Ready for attack." He caught Arthur by the shoulder "Don't hold here for too long," he ordered "The city walls are too weak, we'll lose too many. Give them a fight then fall back."

"Where are you going?" Arthur asked.

"I must consult with Gaius," his father said "This is dark magic and I must know how to counter it. Don't hold here too long, Arthur," he repeated himself.

"Yes, Father" Arthur nodded. 

"Come with me, boy," Uther ordered Merlin and Arthur felt gratitude well up inside him. Deliberate or not, Uther was taking Merlin out of harm's way.

The outer city walls fell less than an hour after the first wave of attack. The enemies war machines were far from built and it was eventually the numbers of their attackers that breached the wall. Great trees had been hewn down and used as battering rams against not only the massive wooden doors but against the stone itself and dust filled the air. For every enemy soldier that fell beneath Arthur's bowmen another ten rushed forward, in many cases treading on top of the fallen. It would have been easier if they had tried to scale the walls or sent arrows but they made no move against anything other than the wall. Arthur shouted himself hoarse moving up and down his ranks, reassuring his men as best he could while they watched their defences fall.  
The battle when it came, was short and bloody. Arthur had been trained in war; had seen more fights than he could count but this was undeniably the worst of them. He'd known, of course he'd known, that many of his soldiers would fall. There wasn't enough time to train them to even a quarter of the level of proficiency he liked to see in his soldiers. He'd known they would die but seeing it happen broke his heart nonetheless. For an instant, the crush of enemy soldiers around him was too heavy to even swing his sword and he felt the point of an enemy blade score along his side where armour didn't cover the chainmail underneath. Two of his men threw themselves into the throng and freed him long enough to strike out again.

"Sire," one gasped "We must fall back." Arthur recognised him as one of the palace guards. His armour was torn, as if a huge blow had simply split the metal open, and he was bleeding freely underneath.

"Go," Arthur nodded; making up his mind in that instant "Spread the word. We fall back. They should be ready with the bowmen on the inner walls. Help the wounded and leave the dead."  
Falling back was easier said then done. They ran for the inner walls and their enemies ran with them. Arthur could see the massive wooden doors open ahead of them and the troops he'd laid in reserve waiting there. He had his best bowmen on the walls, picking of attackers, and when he found how easily a slingshot could kill a man he'd posted those proficient in their use on the wall as well. It was unavoidable that some invaders would enter the inner walls as they ran but they were cut down quickly but his men at the gate. He joined them until he could see no more of his men coming through the gate and turned to the portcullis mechanism.

"Cut the rope," he bellowed. It should have been a chain holding the massive iron grid in place but he needed them to be as close to impenetrable as possible. When this was over they would worry about getting the gates open again. The remaining enemy were dealt with quickly and the entry way barred with massive timbers and foot long spikes driven into the wall. When Arthur was satisfied it would hold he turned to his men.

"Get the wounded to Gaius," he instructed "The most serious first. Take their dead and throw them over the wall. Let's give them something to think about. Look out for any marksmen, they may start using arrows now that we're behind more secure walls." He pulled a knight to one side. "How many are in the between the two walls?" he asked quietly.

"They've filled the town entirely and have the caste walls surrounded, Sire," the knight said.

 

"Good," Arthur said grimly "Wait until we've got rid of their dead and then burn it."

"Sire?" the man asked.

"There must be hundreds of them out there, maybe even thousands," Arthur said "Get our men off the walls and set fire to the town. Make sure to try and block any gateways. There are bowmen who can do that." The knight looked troubled but he nodded obediently and Arthur stopped for a moment to put himself in the man's place. "Set everything in place," he ordered "then come find me. I'll give the order."

"My Lord," the knight bowed respectfully then was on his way. Arthur ignored the pitch in his stomach at what he had resolved to do. If there were as many as a thousand inside the town walls then he would be reducing his enemies numbers by at least one tenth. Homes and stores could be rebuilt but only if Camelot remained victorious. He filled the time it took his knights to organise pitch and fire lending his shoulder to injured men. Merlin was working alongside Gaius and the room they usually used was long since abandoned for one of the great rooms used for feasting. Fires and candles blazed and blood trailed across the floor and the sound of men crying out filled the air but Merlin worked quickly and unbowed despite the hellish atmosphere.

"Sire," the knight from before stood at his shoulder respectfully "It's time. We're ready." Together they climbed the stairs and stood on the walls. "I have bowmen standing by," the knight said "at my signal, they'll begin by blocking off the gateways. The arrows burn well enough when dipped in pitch and there's enough left of the wood there to burn hot. We have pitch to drop after that. They're carrying torches so that should be enough."

"How many are down there?" Arthur asked.

"We think perhaps fifteen or sixteen hundred, Sire."

"Is everyone off the walls who doesn't need to be there?"

"Yes, Sire."

Arthur steeled himself. "Do it," he ordered "Set fire to the inner town."


	6. Battles Yet to Come

The fire burned for three full days. At first the screams were horrific and Arthur bore the judgement of his own soldiers. Men turned aside as he approached. They did so subtly, of course- he was their prince after all, but they shrank away from his presence. Uther supported him but his father had not been the one to give the order and so Arthur stood alone. Uther appeared often but always returned to the books where he hoped to find an explanation for their enemy and a way to defeat him. The air was filled with smoke and the smell of burnt flesh lingered. Merlin was the only one who stood by his side unwaveringly. As the screams lessened and the smoke died away his soldiers became less apprehensive in his presence but Arthur knew that he would always be remembered for it. 

It was the evening of the third day when invaders began to once again scout out the land between the inner walls. Sometimes, a flare of wind would catch at embers and they burst back into flame but for the most part the fire was gone. Arthur's bowmen picked off the scouts and both armies were given reprieve in the form of a deluge of rain that fell that night, turning the ash and embers and torn up ground into a muddy quagmire. Even the beast's army would not attack across such terrain.

"Post lookouts," Arthur ordered a knight "Make sure everyone gets as much rest as possible." Exhaustion dragging at his bones, he made his way to his room. Merlin was waiting for him there and he felt his burden lighten a little.

"Gaius has no need of you?" he asked.  
"We've done what we can," Merlin said softly "All we can do now is wait. He slept today while I watched over them and he's sent me away to rest. I'd hope I would find you here."

"There'll be no attack tonight," Arthur said "Time is on his side. He can afford to wait until there are better conditions."

"He'll be more cautious," Merlin said "he lost many men in his first attack. Between the battle and the fire, I'd estimate nearly a fifth of his forces fell."

Arthur felt his shoulders hunch against the reminder. He hoped that Merlin hadn't seen but the other man could occasionally be quite perceptive.

"You regret it," he said gently. Arthur stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Of course I regret it, Merlin," he exclaimed "Do you take me for a monster? I killed hundreds of men. They died in agony and I knew they would. I knew exactly what I was doing but I did it anyway. My own men fear me." He turned away, teeth clenched against further outburst. Merlin's hands on his shoulders did nothing to ease his tension.

"Making hard choices is part of leadership, Arthur," Merlin said, smoothing his hands over Arthur's shoulders slowly "You will be a good king because you can make those choices. You can do what's necessary no matter how difficult." His hands moved down Arthur's back "But you will be a great king," he continued "because you regret. Because you feel compassion and empathy and mercy. Doing what you had to makes you a king. Regretting it now makes you human." His hands were soothing up and down Arthur's arms. "Your men don't fear you," he said quietly "They fear what they may need to do. They fear the future and the battles yet to come." 

Arthur could bear the gentle touches no longer and turned to pull Merlin into his arms. He was too rough, he knew, but Merlin held him just as tightly and if he felt Arthur shudder against him it only made him hold tighter. They stood like that for long minutes until their exhaustion caught up with them and they turned to the bed. Merlin absently locked the door with a wave of his hand and would have fallen straight into slumber if he hadn't noticed the wound on Arthur's ribs.

"Is that from the battle?" he asked, rounding the bed to peer at the injury.

"It's just a scratch," Arthur dismissed it but Merlin was frowning sternly. 

"You should have had it treated," he said firmly "Why didn't you come to me?"

"It's only a scratch," Arthur repeated himself "And I treated it." Merlin made a scoffing noise in the back of his throat.

"You poured wine on it then ignored it, you mean," he chided gently. As that had been exactly what he'd done, Arthur kept his mouth shut.

Merlin reached out and his eyes were glowing that familiar gold that heralded magic. Arthur stayed his hand.

"I will not stand uninjured amongst my men," he said firmly "This isn't serious and I don't want advantages over them like that. Save my life, by all means, but this is just a scratch. I've had worse training, you've seen it yourself." Merlin scrutinised him for long moments before nodding and stepping back. 

"I have my stuff," he said "I'll clean it and there's a salve you can use to keep it clean and help it heal. Lie down and I'll tend to you."

Arthur stretched out on his bed with his arm hanging loosely at his side. The wound was nothing more than an inconvenience, really, but he knew treating it would make Merlin feel more settled. He couldn't help but flinch, though, when his manservant dabbed at the scratch with a cloth that burned like fire.

"Hold still," he was ordered firmly "There's dirt in it. It's a miracle it's not infected already. When had the tables become so turned, Arthur wondered. Even weeks ago he would have resented taking orders so meekly from a servant. "Does it hurt," Merlin asked quietly.

"No," Arthur lied through his teeth "I told you, it's only a scratch."

"A nasty scratch. And one on its way to infection." His manservant was chiding him but his tone of voice was still fond. 

Arthur sighed "You treat me more gently than I deserve," he said quietly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Merlin asked, still dabbing away with his cloth.

"I have been thinking," Arthur began. He ignored Merlin's mutter at that. "I have not always treated you well," he carried on "I have not always been fair or even kind. I look back to my behaviour towards you on some occasions and it shames me." 

"Royalty may treat servants however they please," Merlin pointed out non-committedly.

"It is not how I mean to carry on," Arthur said firmly "You are more than just a servant and if we are to be together then I should not treat you so poorly. You do still want to be together?" he was unable to stop himself from asking and he knew the insecurity was obvious in his voice.

Merlin smoothed a salve over his injury that eased the burn immediately and took away most of the pain. He wiped his hands on a clean cloth and, just as Arthur was starting to truly panic, the other man leaned forward and cupped his face with his palms.

"I want to be together," he said firmly "Stop doubting me, Arthur. And stop dwelling on the past. I've been a poor servant to you on occasion, you know. We'll just have to do better in the future." He smiled mischievously "If you wanted to reduce my workload," he suggested "I certainly wouldn't complain. But, Arthur," he said seriously "my place is by your side. It always has been and it always will be."

"You are by my side now," Arthur pointed out "but I think you could be closer yet." He slid his arms around Merlin's trim waist and pulled him in close until they were wrapped up in each other. The comfort of it was enough to relax his tense muscles and with Merlin wrapped around him he slid into sleep quickly.

A knock on the door awoke him and he struggled his way out of the clutch of his covers to answer it. Merlin had already left, he noticed with a twinge of regret. The door opened as he was reaching for a shirt and his father strode through.

"Get dressed," he said curtly "I have need of you. Gaius has found some information on the creature that leads our enemy."

"Yes, Father," Arthur nodded immediately. Uther was angry this morning- an anger Arthur had learned to tread lightly around. He pulled his clothes around himself quickly and tried in vain to smooth his hair into a shape more suited to a crown prince. As they approached the door, Merlin came through carrying a tray of food. After a quick glance at the room he bowed his head deferentially.

"Breakfast, Sire," he said quietly and Arthur was grateful that he wasn't the only one who recognised and responded to Uther's moods.

"It can wait," their king said firmly "Come with us, boy, you have some reading skills I believe." With that, they were on the move, quickly reaching Gaius's chambers. 

"Gaius," Uther said curtly as soon as the door was closed "Tell them what you just told me."

"I have found the reason for the enemies misshapen look," Gaius said heavily. He looked tired, Arthur noted; tired to the bone. Gaius was of no age, he thought to himself to be working such hours and under such stress. "He was a man once," the healer continued "but he is no longer human. There are certain rituals that can be performed- magical rituals- that give the user strength and magical power. They come with a price however. The power is granted by a demon and the demon take control of the human over time. Even the appearance can be changed as we have seen. I would guess he was once a low level magical practitioner who sold his soul for the power to assault Camelot. His followers are likely held in thrall by his strength. If he was killed they would be very unlikely to carry on the attack."

"How can we kill him?" Arthur asked immediately. Surely this was cause for celebration rather than anger?

"It would require a blade blessed with magic," Gaius said "Blessed with old magic."

Arthur felt a surge of elation. This was the answer they were looking for. With his steel and Merlin's magic they could surely turn away this beast and his army with him. The look on his father's face stopped him cold. Uther would never condone the use of magic, even to save his kingdom. Merlin would be put to death as soon as he offered his help and, Gods help him, Arthur would fight it. He'd turn his sword on his father's men if it kept Merlin from the fire. 

"Arthur, your thoughts," snapped Uther.

"Perhaps," Arthur began with his mind racing " If we could find such a blade already forged and not need to find a magic user to cast-"

"No," Uther cut him off "There will be no magic. Camelot will be left to the crows before I see magic within her walls."

"Father," Arthur began but he knew it was too late.

"Ready the men," Uther cut across his voice "I will lead them out to face our enemy today. Your tactic with the fire has weakened his forces and each man of Camelot is worth three of theirs. We will defeat them without magic and any who are left who follow the old religion will be next. I have become soft, Arthur. We will be firmer after this. We will be stronger. Magic bought this attack and magic will suffer for it. To arms, Arthur. This is an attack of strength and it will be met with equal strength."

"Father," Arthur began but he was cut off again "Leave your servant," Uther said "He will be of little use on the battle field." 

And that was all he had to say. Without choice Arthur followed in his wake, unable to even say the shortest goodbye to his lover. To attack head on without a weapon to defeat their enemy was madness but Uther was driven by his hatred of magic. Arthur had seen it before and in the private depths of his mind he wondered at Uther's sanity when faced with his enemy of so many years. 

Now was not the time for such thoughts and he readied his men calmly, projecting reassurance as strongly as he could. They were forming ranks when Merlin caught up with him. 

"My father will be angry if he sees you here," Arthur warned him.

"He's getting into his armour, I saw his manservant carrying it," Merlin told him "I'm looking for the spell." he carried on "I'll do my best to find it and we can use it on your sword. This won't be the first time magic has been used behind your father's back to save Camelot."

"Thank you," Arthur said quietly "I will keep you safe from him," he added on an impulse "No harm will come to you, I swear it."

"I know," Merlin said "Keep yourself safe for me."

"As best I can," Arthur said. A guardsman bundled past and knocked Merlin into him. A brief squeeze of his hands was all the contact Arthur could manage but it steadied him greatly. "Back to Gaius with you," he ordered "You'll be needed."

As the knights and soldiers of Camelot marched onto the battlefield Arthur forced his worries aside and settled into the mind-set of a warrior. They were at a disadvantage already as the main gate was blocked by the portcullis he had ordered closed. The smaller gate they were using let men pass ten abreast and four horses could ride at a time but it slowed them considerably. He and Uther rode at the head of their riders to punch a hole in enemy ranks that could be filled with their foot soldiers.

They were less than one hundred yards from the gate when the ranks of their enemy broke to engulf them. The battle was fast paced and Arthur realised with a start that instead of gaining ground they were being forced back. If they couldn't push forward then they would be ground against the walls of their own sanctuary. He was turning to shout this to his father when he saw the king fall from his saddle.

"To the King," he bellowed "Retreat to the castle," he added as he saw knights lifting his father's still body. Leon was there and Arthur saw his relief as he found a pulse at Uther's throat. He was so afraid he though he might be ill but he forced himself onwards. All will be well, he told himself. Gaius is the best healer we have and Merlin can help if there is no other way. 

The battle back into the castle grounds was bloody and it was with great effort that the gates were closed and shored up against intrusion. Arthur once again ordered the dead of his enemy to be thrown back over the wall to them. As soon as his duties were fulfilled to the level his father would have expected of him, he headed in to the castle and to the room he knew was set aside for a king wounded in battle.


	7. Malum Spiritus Malus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for long delay with this one, hopefully back to more regular updates now!

Gaius's face was drawn and solemn. He barred Arthur's entrance to his father's rooms.

"Sire," he said quietly "We must speak."

"May I see him first" Arthur asked "Just for a moment."

"The injury is severe," Gaius warned him "He is not likely to wake for some time but go ahead. I will return to my chamber; there is a medicine I would like to brew."

Arthur nodded and eased open the door to the room where his father lay. He was careful to be quiet as he walked across the floor to the bed although he knew there was little chance of disturbing the king. Gaius was seldom wrong about his patients. 

As he reached the bed, he was grateful for the chair that rested there as the sight of the wound on Uther's head was far more serious than he had hoped. Gaius had clearly shaved away the hair on the entire left side of his scalp to reveal a mass of bruising and swelling. Arthur had seen enough battle wounds to realise that this was not a matter of a quick recovery before rushing back into battle. He'd seen men with head injuries left dazed and disoriented for weeks. When he was a child one of the knights had been struck on the back of the head in training and had lost his sight. 

"Arthur," the voice was just a murmur but he recognised it immediately. Merlin closed the door of the little chamber that acted as a storage area. He was carrying a basin and, when Arthur looked closely, he realised it was full of snow.

"It's been months since we had snow," he said before he could stop himself.

"He needs the cold," Merlin told him, laying a snow laden cloth over his father's injury "Conjuring snow out of water is a quick and easy spell."

"Can't you heal him?" Arthur asked.

"The injury perhaps," Merlin said quietly "But we have no way of knowing how his mind has been affected. Magic can only go so far and trying to heal him now may do more harm than good."

"Couldn't you try?" Arthur asked. It was a question borne of frustration and helplessness and he hunched his shoulders under Merlin's compassionate gaze.

"And if he woke unable to speak?" Merlin asked gently "Or if he didn't recognise you at all or if he'd forgotten the past few decades and expected his wife to walk through the door and tend to him? The mind is a delicate thing, Arthur. I can't risk harming him."

"If I ordered you to?" Arthur asked. He regretted it immediately and dropped his eyes away from Merlin's piercing gaze.

"Would you order me to?" he was asked calmly.

"No," he said immediately "I wouldn't and I shouldn't have suggested it. I'm sorry."

Merlin refreshed his cloth with more snow and laid it once more over the side of his king's head.

"You should talk to Gaius," he said "He's expecting you." 

"Merlin," Arthur caught his wrist and held it "Forgive me. I spoke poorly and I didn't mean it."

"I know," Merlin turned his wrist in Arthur's grasp until they were holding hands with their fingers comfortably laced together "There's nothing to forgive. But you need to talk to Gaius."

"Come with me?" Arthur asked.

"Let me find someone to sit with him," Merlin said "A couple of the younger boys were put to work with Gaius and I. He shouldn't be left alone and they can keep the cloth cold."  
A boy was fetched and given quick instruction. Arthur noticed that he didn't even blink at the bowl of impossible snow and wondered just how much magic had been going on in Camelot under Uther's rule. How many of his subjects knew magic users and kept their secret?

Gaius's rooms weren't far and when they arrived he was hunched over a massive book. The diagrams in it, Arthur realised as they drew closer, were anatomical studies of a human skull split open to reveal layers of tissue beneath. Despite his battlefield experience he found himself strangely discomfited by the images. The heat of battle was one thing but the clinical diagrams were another entirely.

"Gaius," he said quietly "You wanted to speak with me." The book made a hollow thud as it was closed.

"Sire," Gaius said formally, bowing his head. It was the same half bow he offered Uther and Arthur understood the significance. His knees were suddenly weak and he sank into the nearest chair. The weight of a grown man in full armour made it creak alarmingly and he noticed a flash of gold in Merlin's eyes.

"What can you do?" he asked.

"We must wait now," Gaius said gently "The injury is very severe, Arthur. If he wakens he will not be the same as he was. The blow has damaged his brain. We have no way of knowing the effect it will have. You must assume his position. Camelot cannot be without a leader."

"A prince can lead," Arthur said determinedly "I don't need to take his place. I can lead as I am."

"Arthur," the healer said "He was a struck a blow that very nearly killed him. When I say you must assume his position I don't mean just for this siege."

"You can't know for sure," he said desperately "You can't be certain Gaius, he hasn't even woken up yet. He might be fine."

"He may never wake," It was Merlin who spoke this time. His face was drawn and his eyes were very serious. Arthur felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. 

"Heal him then," he demanded "You can't make it worse, heal him."

"I can't."

"Why not?" he hated the traitorous crack in his voice "Why will you not do this for me? He's my father." He couldn't stop the words but knew they were wrong as soon as he said them "Is this revenge because he's killed so many of your people?"

"If I could," Merlin said intently "I would. For you, Arthur I would. But I can't. I don't understand the mind well enough. There's a limit even to what magic can do and this is the limit. He has murdered hundreds of my people. People I knew, people I could have cared about, could have learned from and taught. He took an entire generation of children from us, Arthur, and he took them because he was angry and afraid. But even after all that he would not deserve the damage I could do to him if I tried to cure this."

"He's my father," Arthur repeated himself miserably "I'm asking you to do this. I'm ordering you, Merlin." Even to his own ears his order lacked conviction." He noticed the click of the door as Gaius excused himself tactfully. With a sigh Merlin turned around and picked up the massive medical tome Gaius had left on the desk.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked, pointing to a graphic drawing of a whirl on the surface of a brain. 

"No," Arthur shook his head hopelessly.

"Neither do I," Merlin said gently. He dropped the book carelessly on the table and knelt before Arthur in his chair. "No-one knows," he carried on "I can't fix this, Arthur. No-one can fix this." 

The tears sprang suddenly to Arthur's eyes and he struggled not to let them fall. He hadn't wept in front of someone since he'd had a nanny. Not even the rare occasions Uther had taken it into his head to discipline his son had been enough to break through his control. The first scalding track down his cheek could not be stopped and nor could the next.   
Merlin surged up against him, tucking his head into his shoulder and holding on fiercely. It wasn't comfortable by any means and his armour must have been digging into the slighter man deeply but Arthur could not bring himself to draw back from the offered comfort. He took two shuddering breaths and Merlin slipped a hand into his hair to rub over the nape of his neck soothingly. It was easier to control himself then and he sighed out his next breath rather than sobbing it.


End file.
